I have been told you are not actually lost till you run out of gas

It took me two hours to make it home from walmart once, to be fair walmart is two towns and a thirty minute drive  on a regular day. My town doesn’t have a walmart, heck we didn’t get our one and only stop light till i was in jr high.

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 Don’t feel bad for me my town does have a lovely library with a librarian who loves kids and books,

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a grocery store where the employees don’t just recognize you but also your children by name ( and check to make sure the kiddos are all right when they showed up with a strange man, my husband used to avoid the store like the plague.)

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The schools here value the arts as highly as any sports, and on the fourth of July we have ice cream socials and turtle racing.  I digress however, about getting lost i tend to navigate via land mark.  Turn at the house of so and so, go past where they had that fire ten years ago, if you see the silo twisted by the tornado in 99 you have gone to far.  I’m  exaggerating of course, but not by much. When i first started dating my husband he lived in a suburb of one of the larger towns here in Kansas, and i had to make it thru the gauntlet of exits and traffic to see him on the weekends.  One of the problems with navigating via landmark is the road with the dillons only works as a direction if there is in fact only one dillons per town. I got lost so often coming to see him he just gave me a list of ” bad areas” i.e. If you find yourself on this road get gone. Some of the problem is i am not an aggressive driver( almost feels rude to pass doesn’t it? all ” your too slow looser”) so if i couldn’t get over to my exit i would end up taking a different one when i could get over often leading to lostness.  I eventually learned my way to his house no problem.  Then there was the month i was a delivery driver, it took me ten hours to do a job every one else did in six, did you know some towns have TWO 27th streets? Plus once i got the van stuck in a field ( don’t ask).

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It had been awhile since i had gotten turned around, but i was on my way back from walmart and took a road i had taken quite a few times before but had been avoiding due to construction. The construction was done and i was cruising along looking for the old billboard that advertised left furniture, an easy landmark as that is where i turned left normally. Alas  the billboard was gone the road was now four lanes of 70 mph  clearly marked with huge signs declaring actual street names … Crap. By the time  i decided to just take the next exit i was way past, you can get lost fast at 70 mph. I waited to call my husband to let him know i was running behind untill i actually knew where i was ” you know that one auction house waaaay out there over that hill that we sold that lamp at yeeeah i just past that”  turns out i was three towns and an hour north of home go figure. I would like to say i have gotten better, however just yesterday one of my coworkers asked which way i took to work  and i told them cemetery road to the Sandhills then turn at that old gas station…. At their blank look i just said ” yeah i don’t really pay attention to street signs”  she just looked down at the street signs we had been working on making all day and laughed.