May i please speak with…

My first job did me a huge favor, it made most other jobs i have had seem not so bad. I have been hateful here on my blog, rude , crude, and socially unacceptable. Now however is the time to fear your judgement. My name is cupcake and i used to be a telemarketer.


I was young i didn’t know any better, they promised quick cash no questions asked. It was air-conditioned and didn’t require me to operate a fry basket. Rationalization aside i stayed with that job for three years. At first it wasnt that bad, sit there and wait for the computer to dial a number and bloop off to the races. Credit cards credit cards credit cards, you don’t want them fine next number please.  Still to this day when confronted with an unknown call my voice gets that telemarketer/ bill collector tone that often gets me hung up on when calling for the PTA or the children’s parties .My little cubical came equipped with a flip book of answers to any number of questions, and a comfy chair.  Fast forward a year or so of 20-30 hr weeks( remember college student with lazy tendencies) and amid the jokers with air horns in the phone or blatant threats of violence the job started to lose its shine.  Did you know different states have different laws as to how many times you say NO before i am legally obligated to let you go? ( or at least way back then they did) Then there are the people who just set the phone down or hand it to their kid i personally loved this i got paid either way. Then we started selling warranties to products from a popular catalog that lets you own everyday walmart quality items for only twelve monthly payments. Warranties to products that people didn’t even own anymore.  I had to have the lowest sale rate EVER  at times i was actively discouraging people from  making the deal.  ” after the initial three mo. The rate JUMPS to 23.9%”  aka don’t do this!  I was horrible at my job, and yet still it ate at me to the point going into work  made me physically ill. I have had other jobs along the way  with bad hours , worse pay, jobs with sexist bosses and harassing coworkers still none got to me to the level ” phone sales” did.  Everyone should have one truly loathsome job by which to measure all others, and if you ever get a sales call ( if they still exist) talk dirty to them  it was always the talk of the sales floor.

4 thoughts on “May i please speak with…

    • My very first, unofficial job was to do a door-to-door thing offering educational books. The books were for real and I would have liked to own them myself, but…

      (1) my conscience couldn’t get over the fact that I was offering them to people who probably would have a hard time paying even on an installment basis. I was thinking how much stress this would cost them.

      (2) the business owner wasn’t keeping her promises, so I said bye-bye!

  1. Wow. Thanks for sharing a glimpse of your past life as a telemarketer. It’s true that even here, we often avoid talking to telemarketers, especially when they call and we’re busy and they try to take a lot of our time. There are many who are polite (although there are a few rude ones), but still, when we say we’re not interested, we’re not interested.

    I do remember that I was interested about getting a credit card before, years ago. I submitted photocopies of requirements and gave out some info, which, looking back now, was not the right thing to do, considering how criminals work. Good thing she wasn’t a criminal, or maybe they deemed me not worth stealing from as, after all our exchanges and extra effort to open a CC account, I was told that sorry, they couldn’t give an account because I was (then) in the publishing industry. I argued that I was a regular employee and I passed the minimum salary requirement (even by just a cinch). Of course, i didn’t get it still. Well, I’m NEVER getting one NOW from them, that’s for sure.

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